Tuesday, April 20, 2021

Low but it will always be Me vs Me


It’s just the most horrible thing when people make you feel you are indebted to them. They did something for you when you had a great need, but you just can’t shake the feeling that you have to constantly be their slave. Let me tell you, they don’t remind you of it with their words, but that unspoken language(attitude) sure makes it very clear that somehow you have not settled your debt. Yeah we are human and we have those tendencies and I know when a person is trying their utmost to dispose of those ways, but my goodness, it’s for sure an ongoing thing.

 

I feel more that this post is not a lesson, but a complaint. A complaint to myself, just to get this out of my system, and putting it on paper sure feels like I’m releasing something.

You know the Bible tells me and continuously reminds me that I am no longer a slave especially to another human being. “Christ has liberated me into freedom. Therefore, I will not fall back into a yoke of slavery” Galatians 5:1, but yet I feel like a slave because I’m reminded of it.

It literally feels as if my heart is breaking inside my chest and I really want it to stop. One thing I know for sure is, that as long as I focus on their unspoken language, I will never experience the freedom that I'm meant to. 

I have to overcome yet again these emotions and move on. I'm reminding myself, we will always be human and we our selfish nature will always be there but, I hope and pray that when we experience someone else's pain because of our human nature, we will admit and learn that how we treat others is not what God wants. 

 

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