There are moments in life where someone you once walked closely with…
suddenly begins to create distance.
Not abruptly.
Not harshly.
But quietly… subtly… intentionally.
And if you’re not careful, your heart will ask, “Did I do something wrong?”
But as I’ve grown, I’ve come to understand that not every distance is rejection.
Sometimes, it is something much deeper than that.
Sometimes, people withdraw not because of who you are…
but because of how they see themselves.
There are seasons where people are fighting silent battles.
Battles of health.
Battles of identity.
Battles of self-image.
Battles of feeling “less than” who they once were.
And in those moments, being seen can feel like exposure instead of connection.
So instead of allowing themselves to be known in their weakness…
they choose distance.
Not because they don’t value the relationship…
but because they don’t know how to show up in it anymore.
And if we are not careful, we will interpret their silence through our own lens.
We will call it rejection.
We will call it avoidance.
We will make it personal.
But sometimes, it is not personal at all.
Sometimes, it is someone trying to hold on to dignity…
while they are still learning how to stand again.
I’ve also come to realise something about us as people —
we often expect others to be open with us…
while we ourselves are still learning what vulnerability feels like.
Some people can talk easily.
Others cannot.
Not because they don’t trust you…
but because they have never learned how to carry their story out loud.
And so they retreat.
Not everyone processes pain in the same way.
Not everyone heals in the same way.
And not everyone feels safe enough to be seen while they are still in the middle of becoming.
And maybe…
just maybe…
what looks like distance is not rejection —
but protection.
Protection of their heart.
Protection of their image.
Protection of a version of themselves they are still trying to understand.
And this is where maturity comes in.
Because growth is not only about how we respond when people draw near…
but also about how we respond when they step away.
Do we chase for answers?
Do we assume the worst?
Do we allow offense to grow in our hearts?
Or do we choose something deeper?
Do we choose grace.
Grace that says:
“I may not understand your distance… but I will not misinterpret it.”
Grace that says:
“I will not take personally what may not be about me.”
Grace that says:
“I will give you space without withdrawing my heart.”
Because love does not always look like closeness.
Sometimes, love looks like allowing people to walk their journey…
without forcing them to explain it.
And I’ve learned something else…
We should be careful not to underestimate how safe we are to others.
Sometimes people pull away not because we would reject them…
but because they fear we might.
Sometimes they assume we are too strong, too put together, too grounded…
to understand their broken places.
And so they choose distance… instead of risking being misunderstood.
But the truth is this:
You don’t have to hide your struggles to be accepted.
You don’t have to withdraw to protect your worth.
And you don’t have to become “perfect” before you allow yourself to be seen.
The right people will not love you only in your strength…
they will also honour you in your healing.
Today, I choose not to be offended by what I don’t understand.
I choose not to assume what hasn’t been spoken.
And I choose to trust that God is working in every heart… even the ones I cannot reach.
Because sometimes, distance is not the end of a relationship…
it is simply a different season of it.
And in that season…
love becomes quieter,
grace becomes deeper,
and understanding becomes intentional.
Not every distance is rejection… sometimes it is someone learning how to face themselves.
“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” — Ephesians 4:2
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