There is something deeply destructive…yet often overlooked.
Gossip.
Not always loud.
Not always obvious.
But quietly… it divides, it wounds, and it destroys. How many relationships have ended
not because of truth…but because of what was heard?
Someone said something.
Someone repeated it. Someone believed it. And instead of going to the source, we go to everyone else.
We ask around. We listen.
We gather opinions.
But we don’t go to the one person
who could bring clarity.
And that is where the damage begins. Because when you don’t go directly to the person, you are not seeking truth…
You are feeding assumption.
And this is where it becomes even more serious:
Especially among children of God.
Because if we say we follow Christ,
then we are not only led by feelings…we are led by the Word.
And yet, so often…
Instead of consulting Scripture,
instead of seeking the Holy Spirit,
instead of doing what is right…
We believe what people say.
We accept it as truth.
We react based on it.
We make decisions based on it.
Without ever going to the person directly.
Even if what was said is true…
You still go.
You still speak.
You still give room for clarity.
You still allow truth to be established properly.
Because truth handled wrongly
can still produce damage.
The Word of God is clear.
In Matthew 18:15–17, we are instructed:
If your brother or sister sins against you, go to them directly. Not through people. Not through whispers. Not through assumptions. Directly.
Because God is not a God of confusion…
He is a God of order, truth, and restoration.
And yet, so many relationships are broken because this principle is ignored. Instead, narratives are created.
“Don’t speak to her.”
“She said this about me.”
“This is the kind of person she is.”
And just like that…
A person’s name is shaped
in rooms they are not in.
That is not correction. That is division.
And as Scripture reminds us in
Proverbs 16:28:
A gossip separates close friends
and stirs up conflict. But it doesn’t have to be this way.
So many relationships could be preserved…or at least ended with peace…if we chose obedience over assumption.
Because not every relationship is meant to last forever.
There are seasons.
Some people walk with you for a time…and then life moves.
But there is a difference
between a relationship fading naturally…and one being destroyed prematurely.
One is growth.
The other is damage.
And part of maturing — especially as children of God —
is learning how to handle both.
To speak with wisdom.
To approach with humility.
To listen with discernment.
And as we are reminded in
Psalm 141:3:
“Set a guard over my mouth, Lord;
keep watch over the door of my lips.”
Because words matter.
They can build…or they can break.
They can heal…or they can divide.
And I have learned this personally:
Not every conversation needs my presence.
Not every space deserves my voice.
Sometimes growth looks like walking away from environments where gossip lives.
Not out of pride…but out of wisdom.
Because I refuse to be influenced
by what destroys others.
Not everything you hear is truth.
But even when it is…
handle it the right way.
I choose obedience over assumption, truth over hearsay,
and peace over division.
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