I'm giving it to You

I suppose when I write how I feel, make the burden lighter. When I can't seem to find the peace I had a week ago or even an hour ago.
Writing what and how I feel keeps me sane, because that is how God deals with me. That Is how can I can express myself through words spoken by God.
Time after time I ask God to remove any sort of burden, but it never works. There are even times that I feel so lost, forgetting the same who carried me through last year, did it again this year. He even carried me through the night by allowing me to rest so I can be fresh to complete today's assignments, but that is what I forget about this powerful God.
Instead of just trusting God, I complain to Him, I tell Him to remove this cup from me.
Then He reminds me of Jesus who asked Him to remove this cup (Luke 22:41-42). Then I'm reminded that Jesus also said "But do what You want and not what I want."
"Easy for Him to say, He is the Son of God" I'm thinking to myself. I'm only human. I'm so weak. Look at how I'm complaining for every thing that comes my way.
God is saying, "Let SELF die and let Me be the take care of what's bothering you."
I'm sitting here today thinking, so many of my friends lost a husband. So many of my friends lost a child, so many miscarried, so many have no home, no food, no family to call their own, and I complain. Yes, it's not nice to go though pain. When all you want is peace in your life. I then once again realise, that PEACE is the magic word.
I will never have peace if I want to solve the problems by making my own plans. I cannot move forward when I'm the one who cannot lay that burden down, at the feet of the Cross. I cannot tell others of the goodness of God when I choose to forget what great things He has done for me yesterday or any other day.
I will stay where I am if I focus and complain about things that's not even my problem.
The Spirit of God wants me to do all things without complaining so that I can be blameless in this perverse and wicked world.
I am well aware there will always be challenges. I am well aware that my faith will always be tested, but I choose to ask God, "Lord, what can I lesson learn from this challenge I'm facing today?"
I choose to say, "Father, if you will, please don't make suffer by having me drink from this cup. But do what you want, and not what I want." Luke 22:41-42
Let us be strong and know that the peace God gives, is far greater than what the world gives.
"I Am She"
Leslene
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