Feel Every Moment

I'm literally sitting here laughing about everything that happened this year. At one point life seems perfect, I'm having the best time of my life, and the next it felt like I was loosing my mind. Please tell me you the reader has never been at this point, and if not, please share your secret?
Anyway!!
But what I've realized is when you're having the best time time of your life, enjoy it. Stay in that moment so you can look back and smile 😃 because IT WAS GOOD!

This loosing your mind shit is the tricky part. It can be downright confusing. Because how can things switch from being so good and amazing to doom and gloom, just go through without looking for any kind of short cut.
My darling, no physical thing is permanent. All things good or bad comes to an end, and that will always be the hope that I cling to. The Hope that does not disappoint. Romans 5:5
Because of this HOPE, I'm still standing.
So to sum it all up. I will have the mos amazing fun time when that moment arrives and I will go through the motions and feel every aching moment when it feels like I'm loosing my mind.
With that being said....

This year has been the perfect blend of me LOOSING MY MIND & and me having the BEST TIME OF MY LIFE!

I have to stay and need you to stay

I woke up this morning and the word "anxious/anxiety" was dropped in my spirits. 

I laid there, eyes closed, and waited. Waited for what, no idea but I waited. 

I proceeded to question  myself. "Am I anxious today?" Will I come in contact with someone, who's anxious or suffer from anxiety?" 

I haven't thought of this word in a while. Even though I haven't thought of this word in a while, it was not unfamiliar to me. I'm so familiar with this word that I can literally write a book. 

As I reflected in this word, and even though I should be anxious and choose not to be, I started looking to God for answers. I waited, waited and continued to wait and hesrd nothing.

I got up and went live on my phone. Then it happened. I have many people who joined me on the live and usually they would ask me, what are we discussing today or what's the topic? I proceeded to ask them what they would love to discuss. So obviously they can hear me and I have to read out what they type in thr comment section. 

Believe it or not, many of them typed the word "anxious" Some of them confessed that they are anxious all the time. Then I knew, there is a massive wave of anxiety here and it's only gonna get worse if we don't have it eliminated. People are struggling, lives are taken because of major depression and the enemy's loving it. 

I opened my Bible and also had to bare in mind that not everyone believes the word of God or trust a person wanting to help. 

Anyway, the very first scripture  I read said, 

"Anxiety in the heart of man causes depression, but a good word makes it glad." Proverbs 12:26

As I continued to read their comments I just had to ask, "why are you anxious?" 

I thought the answer would be financial difficulty or marriage problems but that wasn't the big answer. The big answer was, "judgement from others, bullying" (and this grown-ups feeling this way), and the worst thing, "loneliness" 

Can you imagine if this is adults feeling this way, how are the young people dealing with all of this?

People, there are soblittle kindness and empathy shown in this world and that is a massive problem. 

Guilt is unnecessary placed on people. They feeling they're drawing and you’re seeking attention. 

How can we change this? 

Can we be present?

Reoccurence

What has happened has happened then, will happen again. These are the words of King Solomon (Biblical truth)

When you've gone through a situation and it felt like everything was just falling apart, you either just slept for day. You might've made your own plans just to get out of it quicker. You've put the idea of food one side but eventually you had no choice but to eat something because you want to be stronger to continue living. 

Have you been there before?

I've been here many times, and it just sucks. Right?

Then life continues to be good, not great though but manageable. 

When life is good, what do we forget?

We have to stay humble. When life is good, you cannot let your ego get the better of you. When life is good, empathy should be the key to remember who was empathetic towards you in time of ruin(if I can call it that).

So, this morning you wake up and the "what has happened then", is 100% back again. What do you do this time? What will your response be?

Stop... Think... Choose

This method really sucks because we want to get angry, say what we feel and think.

A little bit of advise.

If you didn't learn the first time it happened, or by the second reoccurence, you will definitely struggle the time around.

The Final Bow

You have #bowed down to things & people who did not serve you and that weighed you down. For a very long time you didn't know how to accept yourself because you were to dependant on others to you what about you is or is not acceptable. If people refuse to look at you in a new light and they can only see you for what you were, only see you for the mistakes you've made, if they don't realize that you are not your mistakes, then they have to go.

Accept yourself, love yourself, and keep moving forward. If you want to fly, you have to give up what weighs you down.

But, thank God, you gave your final goodbye bow, a laugh and wished them peace, and finally living the desired life. 

#realtalk_with_leslene

Truth is...

The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.

This is for your own good because, taking offends to what others do or did, will place you in harm's way. 

So here's the thing...

The most important kind of freedom is to be what you really are. You trade in your reality for a role. You trade in your sense for an act. You give up your ability to feel, and in exchange, put on a mask. There can't be any large-scale revolution until there's a personal revolution, on an individual level. It's got to happen inside first. 

And if you say it is actually happening on the inside, then there's absolutely no need to walk around with that face that looks like you're angry at the world. Or that death stare you give everyone who's actually genuine with you. 

Many people claim or I've heard quite a few people say "my mouth won't say it, but my face definitely will" 

That statement right there, is one of the fakest ways a person can show themselves. 

So...

Thinking something does not make it true. Wanting something does not make it real. But, doing what you said you did will make a whole lot of difference to the lives of those who are actually happy for being set free by those who claim they put up a boundary. 

Decisions...

I love decisions. Especially when I know it will be good for me. Making decisions where my life and others are concerned, it will definitely show in my actions. I am happy, I am playful, I am showing that this decision will benefit the next person as well. I won't be sad because I made a great decision, I will be happy. Because now I can focus on experiencing fruitful friendships. Maybe even friendships I was denied as a young person. Yes it was good for me then, but now that we're older and good on making the right decisions, I am happy to test the limits. I am happy to see what I'm really made of. I am happy to encounter people with different characteristics, temperaments and definitely see if they are able to tolerate me. 

The truth is...

When you say you're changing for the better, be better. Or else we can and will safely assume you've created yourself as a god in your own image. Who judges sinners for sinning differently, when it turns out that God hates all people who walks around with an image filled with entitlement and pride.