May I Never Lose What God Has Placed in Me

On Friday evening, Marco and I went to a memorial service for his friend Randall.

There were many familiar faces there—people I have met through Marco over the years but don't often see. Marco sees them much more regularly than I do, so whenever I do see them, it can sometimes be years between encounters.

But something struck me that evening.

Whenever these people see me, they are always genuinely happy to see me. There is a respect and gentleness in the way they interact with me. These are people who have their own lifestyles, their own ways of living, and many of them enjoy drinking, partying and socialising.

Yet when they see me, there seems to be a different kind of quietness.

They treat me with love.

They treat me with care.

They treat me with respect.

And I think part of that comes from the way I have always chosen to treat them.

I don't judge them.

I don't look down on them.

I simply meet them where they are and speak to them with the same respect and kindness I would want to receive.

That evening, I saw Vicky again after many years. We hugged, and she was so happy to see me. There were comments about how young I look, how I haven't changed, and how beautiful I look.

But what happened afterwards stayed with me even more.

Vicky took my number.

Then, unexpectedly, she messaged me and asked:

“Are you a pastor?”

I honestly didn't know what to say.

So I asked her, “May I ask why you ask me that?”

Her response touched something deep inside me.

She said she has always gotten that feeling from me.

The way I speak to people.

The way I treat people.

The comforting manner in which I communicate.

The empathy I show.

The grace with which I approach people.

She sees something in me that makes her think I could be a pastor.

And I've been sitting with that.

Not because I think I need a title.

Not because I need people to think highly of me.

But because it made me stop and think about the things God has placed inside me.

Sometimes we don't see ourselves the way other people experience us.

We know our own struggles.

We know our mistakes.

We know the days when we don't get it right.

We know the things we've had to overcome.

We know the battles nobody else sees.

Life hasn't always been easy for me.

I've had moments when people have misunderstood me.

I've had people who thought they knew me and tried to define me.

I've had moments when words from other people made me question myself.

But through all of that, there is something I never want to lose.

I never want to lose my ability to love people.

I never want hardship to make me hard.

I never want disappointment to make me bitter.

I never want someone else's behaviour to change the way I treat people who have done nothing to me.

I never want to lose my empathy.

I never want to lose my grace.

And most importantly, I never want to lose my alignment with God.

Because perhaps the greatest compliment isn't that someone thinks I am beautiful.

Perhaps it isn't that someone thinks I look young.

Perhaps it isn't even that someone thinks I could be a pastor.

Perhaps the greatest compliment is when someone encounters you and feels safe, respected, heard and cared for.

That is something I don't want to take lightly.

So my prayer is simple:

God, may I never lose what You have placed in me.

Keep my heart soft.

Keep me humble.

Keep me compassionate.

Keep me kind.

Teach me how to remain firm without becoming hard.

Teach me how to have boundaries without losing grace.

Teach me how to protect myself without closing my heart.

And when people misunderstand me, help me remember that I don't have to become different just because someone else sees me differently.

I want to stay aligned with You.

That is my biggest goal.

Not perfection.

Not popularity.

Not everyone's approval.

Alignment.

Because if I can remain aligned with God, then I trust that everything else will find its proper place.

So today, I am grateful.

Grateful that after everything life has brought me through, there is still softness in me.

Still compassion.

Still grace.

Still love.

And I pray that no matter how far I go, how much the business grows, how many people I meet, or how many doors God opens for me, I will never lose the person He is teaching me to become.

May I always love people well.

May I always walk humbly.

May I always speak with grace.

And above everything else, may I always remain aligned with God.