This Is the Story I’ll Tell

When I think back to November last year, I sometimes have to pause and remember just how low I felt.

I felt defeated.

I felt small.

I felt like I had somehow lost myself.

I had abandoned myself. I had allowed circumstances, words, fear and the opinions of others to make me question my own worth. There was a version of me last November who was simply trying to survive what felt like a massive, overwhelming season.

And if I compare that woman to the woman I am today, I can only say one thing:

Thank You, God.

I was listening to The Story I’ll Tell by Naomi Raine recently, and something about those words made me look back—not with bitterness, but with perspective.

Because now I can see something I couldn't see then.

God did not fail me.

I thought my life was falling apart, but God was still there.

I thought I had reached the end of something, but God was still writing.

I thought I was losing myself, but somewhere along the way, God began showing me how to find myself again.

November was a massive challenge for me. Massive.

But I did not give up.

I did not stop trusting God.

And today, I can look back and say: He carried me through it.

My challenges today may look different. Life hasn't suddenly become perfect. There are still things I have to navigate, decisions I have to make, boundaries I have to establish, and moments where I have to remind myself who I am.

But I am not the woman I was last November.

I am stronger.

I am more aware.

I am more intentional.

And most importantly, I am learning not to abandon myself anymore.

Sometimes we say, “God, where were You?”

But perhaps the question we need to ask is, “God, what was I expecting You to do?”

Because sometimes we have an agenda.

We have a picture of how the answer should look, when it should happen, and what the outcome should be. And when God doesn't follow our plan, we mistake His silence for absence and His timing for failure.

But God has never needed my plan in order to be faithful.

The Bible reminds us that our struggle is not merely against flesh and blood, but against spiritual forces beyond what we can see. And that is why I have learned that I cannot fight every battle with what I can see, hear or feel.

I need the Word of God.

I need prayer.

I need connection with God.

I need discernment.

Because His Word is living and powerful—sharper than any two-edged sword.

And perhaps that is why I can tell this story today.

Because I didn't give up in November.

I kept going.

I kept believing.

I kept talking to God.

And somewhere between the tears, the uncertainty, the disappointment and the rebuilding, God was still working.

So when I look back now, I don't only see the woman who felt defeated.

I see the woman God refused to leave there.

This is the story I'll tell:

I thought it was the end.

God was still writing.

I thought I had lost everything.

God was teaching me what I could no longer afford to lose—myself.

I thought He had failed me.

But He never did.

And if I ever find myself in another November—another season that feels too heavy, too painful or too uncertain—I hope I remember this one thing:

My God did not fail me then, and He will not fail me now.

I may not always understand what He is doing.

I may not always like the season I am in.

I may not see the answer immediately.

But I know the One who is writing the story.

And this is the story I will tell.