Do Not Engage

                                                                                                                                           

So many fingers are pointed at people who really tries to be better. Who really tries to do what Jesus did, but we are just giving them a chance? Damn, we ourselves are not given a chance. It’s tough inside you, and it’s so tough out there. We want love, but we ourselves do not want to show love. We want people to stay but, we don’t want to stay a minute longer when the going gets tough. We want forgiveness, we actually expect forgiveness even though it’s undeserved but we refuse to forgive the one who really needs it. Some people cannot move on if they haven’t been forgiven by a person. It literally cuts them into pieces on the inside.

We want grace but just don’t want to be gracious to others and just continue to cast the stones. We have been betrayed by many on many occasions, and what do we do, we decide to fight back wit that same fire. Yes, I’m writing this but you know what, I’m struggling too. I’m struggling with all of the above and I thank God for GRACE.

SOLUTION TO THE ABOVE:

If we want to be like Jesus, be the one that stays when everyone walks away.

Be the one who forgives, when it is undeserved.

Be the one to show grace when everyone else is casting stones.

Be the one to show love, even when they betray you, because that is what Jesus would do.

This solution is something to really work on. It will be very hard at first, because for many centuries this has been an ongoing struggle but believe me, it can be done.

Look at Paul the apostle. Persecutor of Christ followers, CHANGED FOREVER. Paul admits that the human nature is the one taking over and sin lives in it. (Romans 7:15-25 GNB)

The human nature also believes that the Law is right and forgets that Grace came. We are distracted by so many things. We want to take on too much and, we focus on everything others does. We cannot go one day without watching their statuses, their IG stories, their Facebook posts and we really get upset because what they put up their ruins our whole day and the story isn’t even about us personally. Some of the stories are though, experienced it myself many times, but what is the right thing for me to do? DO NOT view them then I won’t get upset. Our human nature is a massive problem. It rules us.

The human nature and the spiritual nature are like two dogs inside of us fighting. One must win. Who do you think wins? THE ONE WE FEED THE MOST! Many times, it’s the human nature. How can we stop this, DO NOT ENGAGE in the battle? You are absolutely right. Everything outside of our control weighs us down. Lay it aside. Shake it off. BE FREE. The child that angers you, the husband that angers you, that colleague that provokes you or who’s just angry at you for whatever reason you can’t think of, walk away.

My heart definitely feels lighter after this massive reminder. I hope you feel light?

 

 

Low but it will always be Me vs Me

It’s just the most horrible thing when people make you feel you are indebted to them. They did something for you when you had a great need, but you just can’t shake the feeling that you have to constantly be their slave. Let me tell you, they don’t remind you of it with their words, but that unspoken language(attitude) sure makes it very clear that somehow you have not settled your debt. Yeah we are human and we have those tendencies and I know when a person is trying their utmost to dispose of those ways, but my goodness, it’s for sure an ongoing thing.

 

I feel more that this post is not a lesson, but a complaint. A complaint to myself, just to get this out of my system, and putting it on paper sure feels like I’m releasing something.

You know the Bible tells me and continuously reminds me that I am no longer a slave especially to another human being. “Christ has liberated me into freedom. Therefore, I will not fall back into a yoke of slavery” Galatians 5:1, but yet I feel like a slave because I’m reminded of it.

It literally feels as if my heart is breaking inside my chest and I really want it to stop. One thing I know for sure is, that as long as I focus on their unspoken language, I will never experience the freedom that I'm meant to. 

I have to overcome yet again these emotions and move on. I'm reminding myself, we will always be human and we our selfish nature will always be there but, I hope and pray that when we experience someone else's pain because of our human nature, we will admit and learn that how we treat others is not what God wants. 

 

Quick Fix or process?

So, for a while I've been really great at maintaining my beautiful lengthy hair. Very proud, week after week I would blow dry my hair or just tie up my wet hair as is and off I go. Deep down in my heart I would wonder what it would feel like to wear my hair loose, in a frizz like I used too. 

And I decided to cut it off and so I did. It's short, curly, and doesn't look very nice right now. Hahahaaa!! but I'm confident it will soon. Anyway, this is not what I want to write about. I want to ask a question? Do know who you really are, or are you just going along for the ride and trying to get the perfect answer?

So I've been looking up what the meaning of "quick fix" is - an easy remedy or solution, especially a temporary one which fails to address underlying problems. A definition clear as day and to be honest, if I don't go the extreme route like cutting my hair, I would be blaming other people who couldn't blow my hair when I wanted them to or I would definitely feel I'd be loosing my identity if I cut my hair all off. People, the struggle is so real at times. 

The same with friendships when it ends and you don't get any answers from the person who ended it. The calls got less, the chatting got even lesser and it's confusing because you don't know what could've caused this amazing bond to just end. Why is it so hard to accept when this season is over? Mostly, you found something in this person that either made you stand out or you totally fabricated your identity in this relationship. 

Here's the deal...when our identity is tied to circumstances we become extremely insecure because circumstances are unpredictable and ever changing. 

Or we are sad because we never really had a present father in our lives. Based on my experiences with my dad not wanting me, I wondered what my heavenly Father’s attitude was toward me. After all, how could God just stand by and allow so much heartbreak into one little girl’s world?

It seemed every three years starting the year my dad left, there was some kind of awful tragedy that cast lingering, dark shadows into my life. Abuse. Divorce. Abandonment. Mental illness. The death of my sister. A devastating breakup. The cycle just kept going and going.

Even after I’d been a Christian for a long time and knew God loved me, I still had this nagging question about why the hard stuff had to be so painful. Was God really being good to me in this? I think C. S. Lewis said it best: “We are not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be.

And it’s at this point where God just takes me to Romans 8:28: “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” 

I like that verse. And I think it helps shed some light on the reality that even if something doesn’t feel good, God can still work good from it. But verses 5 and 6 from this same chapter give me another layer of assurance:

Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace.

Because we continue to attached ourselves to a thing or person, we allow uninvited scenarios into our thoughts and lives. 

Because of circumstances, we choose the quick fix route instead of going through the process of becoming. For this reason, I cut my hair off knowing during this process of regrowth, I honest with myself that my hair looks like crap right now but, in 2 to 3 months time it will look amazing again all in it's natural form.

So, the process it is for me. 

Help for the wounded heart - when forgiveness hurts

Life knocks us around physically, emotionally and spiritually. I have a list of heart wounds and so do you because we both wear human skin. I looked at that list of wounds and realized there are just as many spiritual wounds. Do you spend time counting the way that people have hurt you? I have and it is ugly. How about you? Abuse, betrayal, jealousy, anger, gossip, envy, strife, you name it...all of our ugly comes out when withhold forgiveness.  Self absorption has a way of making us miserable and the power of our unforgiveness becomes frightfully obvious to others and yet oblivious to ourselves.  We walk around with wide open wounds and say we are just fine when really, we aren't.  What can we do when a band-aid isn't big enough to heal a wound?

You have carried the burdens long enough dear friend.  He already knows your heartache and has the healing balm ready for you.  He sees the whole thing from the beginning and He sees how it ends.

" Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time, casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you." 1 Peter 5:6-7 

There is a big difference between going to God and letting pain fester with a smile on your face. Have you told God in real physical words exactly why you are having a hard time forgiving that person?  Hand over your list of wounds and let God deal with it. How? Take some serious time to be quiet (or scream and cry!) before God and lay it all out with spoken or written words.  Every ugly thought. Every ugly detail and every nasty moment. Leave nothing unturned and no words or deeds left unmentioned. Spill because you can’t tackle this thing on your own. 

It has been said that unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. True. My guess is that you're loosing a whole lot more sleep about it than they are. Chances are the person that has hurt you has moved on and you are stuck right where it happened. When you take your hurts before a Holy God-you don't have to bear them alone.  He is your Emmanuel, God With Us, and He is the only one that can help you move forward in victory.

In His Love

She peaks

Heartbroken?

Friend,

I don’t know what your heartbreak is about, but I know it hurts.

My gosh, does it hurt.

It feels like you can’t breathe, or think. It’s consuming. It makes you wonder how anything will ever be ok.

And so you find yourself on the floor, feeling like getting up isn’t going to happen anytime soon.

If I was there, I’d lay down next to you. I’d tell you that this pain is so real, and it’s going to hurt for awhile.

But it’s you, and you have the Spirit of the healer living right inside of you, and so I know that this isn’t how it ends for you. I'd tell you it's okay to be devastated. This feeling won't go away immediately but when it does, you will be so strong and fierce. I know, because I've been on the floor many times before.

I felt like it would never be okay.

It wasn't pretty. It wasnt easy. It wasn't quick. I'm here and I am better.

There are different reasons for our heartbreak and we all heal differently and that's great. As long as we heal.

Friend, your story doesn't end on the floor. It ends when you allow yourself to get up and decide.

I will remind myself - ALWAYS

Look at your hands: They have carried your cute babies at one stage and dried so many of your tears.

Look at your feet: They have walked you to some of your favorite places and walked you away from so many bad ones.

Look at your belly: Think of the days when it's been full and warm with your favorite foods.

Look at your legs: They have held you up when you thought you were not strong enough to stand.

Look at your eyes: They have seen so may beautiful people.

Look at your mouth: It has told so many people that you love them.

Look at your body: It's been there since day 1

LOVE IT, IT LOVES YOU! 
Hating your body doesn't change it. Loving it does wonders.

I needed this - I had to decide

Year in and year out it's the same old story. The same pathetic words that left my mouth,

"I can't"

"What will they say"

"What will they think of me"

"That's not me"

"Why don't you do it"

"I'm too fat, I will never fit into that pants or that top is too out there. The color is too bright"

 

…and the list goes on and on. Well, that was me for a very long time. CAN YOU RELATE TO THIS?

You just have your whole familiar life planned out. They way you are now is just the way you'll stay. The complaints will always be there. The dissatisfaction towards yourself will continue, and people will just start staying away from because you can't or you won't see your worth. You know what I was doing? I was teaching them to disrespect me because I couldn't even respect myself.

You know we will forever question people's motives towards us. We will forever be unhappy with ourselves and how things are in our lives. We will forever blame others for happenings in our lives – and as long as we question, blame and cry, things will never change if we don't come to a decision to change our questions.

"Could things be the way that they are because I am the way that I am. What one thing can I change in order to see change in my life?"

I read the book called "Alice in Wonderland" by Lewis Caroll not too long ago. I literally had a life changing moment which turned out to change my life. I read a very interesting part.

"Alice: Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?
The Cheshire Cat: That depends a good deal on where you want to get to.
Alice: I don't much care where.
The Cheshire Cat: Then it doesn't much matter which way you go.
Alice: ...So long as I get somewhere.
The Cheshire Cat: Oh, you're sure to do that, if only you walk long enough."

How true is this. We question "why" but when someone else asks where you want to go and what do you want to do, we still have no clue. With that said, if you don't have a plan on where you're going, you will still ask the same questions for a very long time and still stay stuck and go nowhere.

 

I can honestly say:

"I am no longer stuck"

"No longer disrespect me"

"I love myself"

"I look after my body"

"I no longer look at other and then judge me by the way they look"

"I look at me and say, this is your next step"

 

I no longer have self-esteem issues because now I know, "self-esteem means confidence and satisfaction in one-self."

I can now love others with boldness because I love me. 

Thanks

She said"NO"

I did say no you know. He just continued without blinking an eye. To him it was okay to continue because she was a nothing.
He was never physically abusive but mental and emotional abuse was evident.
She threatens to leave and then he would stop with what he's busy with. But just give 3 weeks to a month and he would start again.
Everyone says she should leave, it's as easy as that. Well, is it? Where would she go?
She decided to stay because she heard that she's a child of God. She heard she's the daughter of a King. She heard she's an heir and she heard she's allowed to walk in authority, and just there her life changed. With that change came to her home.
She's walking in victory, she's walking in freedom, she established her dominion in her home.
I Am She!

I treat myself like a friend

Being good to myself is a choice I make. In this area of my life, I've been a massive failure. I realize once again I don''t have to be perfect to be worthy of my own love. There's always this fear of feeling the shame of others judging me, because I want to love myself. 
I decide to day, I detach from that negativity and instead identify myself with supportive beliefs of who I am and what I will achieve with my true identity. 

I discovered by being good to myself, I contribute a more powerful Presence of goodness to the world around. When I allow myself to be myself , I inspire in others the freedom to be themselves, too. The love I have brightens the world inside and out. 
So, today I replace self-limiting self-talk with positive declarations of my potential, When I show up for myself, life responds with joy. 
I know exactly how to treat my best friend, so why am I not treating myself like a friend too. I love my best friend, so why am I not loving myself as a best friend too. 
Me paying small, does not help me and it does not help others. 

So this is me, promising to treat me like a friend.
#iamshe

Admitting: The Real Me

May I admit something to you all?
When I am at my worst, I doubt who I am. I doubt I am good. I doubt I am valuable. Some days, I know, I don’t look an iota like Jesus. I look in the mirror, but his image I do not see. Instead, I see the image of a woman who is flawed, faulted and failing. I can be hard on myself.
Can you?
It’s easy, on these days, to turn to action plans, to-do lists or a get-better schemes. Oh, I know this inclination! But, more and more, I am convinced, I don’t need a makeover or a new hairstyle. I don’t need a flick on the wrist or a self-inflicted put down to get right, I simply need peace. Peace that affirms who God says I am, not what I am prone to believe I am.
I need the reminder I am:

Beautiful.

#Valuable

Created as beloved with Christ in me.

When we know these things, our vision shifts, our hope emerges and our love flows more freely.
Do you know who you are? If you’re at all like me, and you need a reminder, hopefully these verses – verses that speak of #beauty , value and your beloved identity, will bring you to a new place, to a new vision of who you are created to be.
I am Beautiful:
You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you. (Sol. 4:7)
She is #clothed with #strength and dignity; she can #laugh at the days to come. (Prov. 31:25)
You will be a #crown of #splendor in the LORD’s hand, a royal diadem in the hand of your God. Is. 62:3
My #beloved #spoke and said to me, “Arise, my #darling , my #beautiful one, come with me. (Song 2:10)
#iamshe 🌻 #valuable #arise #lovely #sweet #special #speak #wisdom #splendor #royal #created #wonderful #beloved #darling

Who does Wanda thinks she is? #statement

You know that moment you meet someone and you cannot even imagine this person having any insecurities or issues of not being confident? Their attitude alone says "I am loud(but not in your face kinda way), confident, sassy, loving, but don't mess with me!" This is who Wanda is. You look at her and see your future self. Not being Wanda, but walking in a building and heads turn. Coming into your home and feel a presence that calibrates the atmosphere on it's own and whoever comes in after that with negativity, you actually feels that Wanda knows how to re-calibrate that negative presence. #iamtotallyserious

I once was afraid of people saying, "who does she think she is?" 
(I am she slogan) So for those who took the time to get to know Wanda probably at one point in their lives thought who does Wanda thinks she is? So you quickly got over that 'coz she didn't have to prove you wrong. You realized that, you were wrong. 
A few weeks back I asked her how is it that she's so confident. I wish I was that confident... and she blurts out,"no baba, I'm not a confident person" Imagine my face after that statement! I questioned her words. I doubted her words, but as soon as I questioned and doubted I decided to let it go. I decided she's just a modest person and will not hurt anyone's feelings by bragging about her confidence. I think being confident or having it all is one thing she doesn't talk about, but definitely walks in it. That is motivation is enough for me. 

So when people leave your company Wanda, I believe despite of how you SAY you feel, your actions, thoughts and words to them is like a magical letter. 
Psalm 45:1 says; "...My tongue is the pen of ready writer..." This is how so many see you. This is how I see you.  
Here goes a letter from you to those who's been in contact with you. 
"The you that's had a rough week. The you that seems to be under constant storm clouds. The you that feels invisible. The you that doesn't know how much longer you can hold on. The you that has lost faith. The you that always blames yourself for everything that goes wrong. 
To you I say,
You are incredible. You make this world so much more wonderful when you smile. You have so much potential and so many things left to do. YOU HAVE TIME. Better things are coming your way, so please hang in there. You can do it."
I've been in Wanda's presence so many times, and not once has she given me the idea that she does not want the best for any person. She is a giver, she is sassy, she is a leader. With all this said, see fine print below...

Top Definition of Wanda:
Known in Urban Legend as the ultimate wife(soon to be), super mom and sex goddess(abstaining for now), Very loyal and caring but ready to strike when provoked. Should be handled with extreme caution. You can't just handle the Wanda!! She will teach you how to handle her. 
You don't need validation from anyone (as you well know), but today you are through all the trial, whatever suffering, whatever hurt, joy, love, even with that sassy attitude, you are honored.

I Am She...