What I got in return for deleting my Facebook.

If you came to this post because you think there is some kind of giveaway going on, I’m sorry to disappoint you. There isn’t. I did receive several gifts in exchange for deleting my Facebook, but no one gave them to me. They sort of materialized as a natural consequence of opting out.

I deleted my Facebook because I felt that it was wasting my time. I didn’t want to spend any more of my minutes on Facebook, so I deleted it. I thought about the accumulation of all those minutes spent scrolling through things I don’t actually care about, in hopes of coming across something I did care about. How many posts of lunches, political views, pictures of kids doing mundane things did I waste my minutes on? Imagine what I could do if I got those minutes back each day. I'm learning so much about myself and it's all happening at this age. I missed out on so much of my life by focusing such a massive distraction. 

The reclaiming of my time was a pleasant side effect of deleting Facebook, but the biggest change I’ve noticed is that I got my brain back. By brain I mean my attention span, my ability to concentrate, my level of attachment to my phone. I think most people do not realize how compulsive social media makes you. It was engineered that way on purpose. The more you “engage,” the more ads you see and the more money they make. They need you to be hooked, to check your phone like you have OCD, because your attention is the product they sell to advertisers. We get addicted to social media QUICKLY, and by design. I think most of us are addicted, even though few would admit it. Most of us check our phones multiple times per day, not five or ten, but closer to a hundred, or even in the hundreds, depending on our level of engagement with social media.

 I have no real reason to check my phone because I knew there was nothing on it. It would ring if anyone called me, and who calls anymore? All of a sudden this tether from my hand to my phone, and more importantly my attention to my phone, was severed. I was free from the tyranny of the cell phone. 

The only reason I have my phone is because I have amazing sermons on it. And I just have to plug my earphones in and listen. It reminds me of what my brain really needs. 

One thing I'm so happy about is, I don't have to document my thought and feelings on Facebook anymore. I can just write a blog and just leave it there. It doesn't have to be shared on Facebook because eventually someone will read it when it's really needed. Blogging is a way of sharing, but it happens much less often and I don’t find that it dominates my life the same way as Facebook or Instagram. I write about a particular topic, or a certain trip I took, instead of constantly being on the lookout for little moments that would make good social media posts. Put simply, blogging is less invasive.

In our society, I feel that peace is hard to come by. I’ll take what I can get, even if it means dropping out of social media.

Superficial Spirituality versus Genuine Humility

Matthew 23 - Then Jesus addressed both the crowds and his disciples and said, 2 “The religious scholars and the Pharisees sit in Moses’ seat[a] as the authorized interpreters of the Law. 3 So listen and follow what they teach, but don’t do what they do, for they tell you one thing and do another. 4 They tie on your backs an oppressive burden of religious obligations and insist that you carry them, but will never lift a finger to help ease your load. 5 Everything they do is done for show and to be noticed by others. They want to be seen as holy, so they wear oversized prayer boxes on their arms and foreheads with Scriptures inside, and wear extra-long tassels on their outer garments.[b] 6 They crave the seats of highest honor at banquets and in their meeting places. 7 And how they love to be admired by men with their titles of respect, aspiring to be recognized in public and have others call them ‘Reverend.’[c]8 “But you are to be different from that. You are not to be called ‘master,’[d] for you have only one Master, and you are all brothers and sisters. 9 And you are not to be addressed as ‘father,’[e] for you have one Father, who is in heaven. 10 Nor are you to be addressed as ‘teacher,’[f] for you have one Teacher, the Anointed One.[g] 11 The greatest among you will be the one who always serves others. 12 Remember this: If you have a lofty opinion of yourself and seek to be honored, you will be humbled. But if you have a modest opinion of yourself and choose to humble yourself, you will be honored.”

Changing the way I think and act

You want to mess with me in the natural? Let me tell you what I'm gonna do. I will handle you in the Spirit. How draining is it to constantly fight with someone in the natural. You have to physically prepare yourself. You have to have your facts straight. Your argument can be turned against you at any time. You are so upset and all you want to do is just get your feelings and emotions across to this person and in the end, your whole argument is turned against you. 

God says:

"Our fight is not against people on earth but against the rulers and authorities and the powers of this world’s darkness, against the spiritual powers of evil in the heavenly world..." Ephesians 6:12

This is the only way we need to handle things. This for me is extremely hard, but if I want things to turn around in my favor, I have no choice but to handle you in the Spirit but, we have to go and take authority over those things or that someone that is messing with us in the natural.

What do we do? We pray. 

That is the weapon that disarms the darkness. When we pray, God releases visions that will guide and show us how to be gracious, merciful and still loving towards those who mess with us. 

We are in a time where so many of us are edgy, we suspect any person of anything. We are paranoid and it causes chaos. I can vouch for that. I have never in my entire life been so mentally challenged as I have been this year. My mental health has definitely affected my spiritual health. But you know what, God is more present in my life now than He has ever been. He was there all the time, but I took his presence for granted because I know He's just there. And I am extremely grateful. 

How much do you want it?

FREEDOM

1. the power or right to act, speak, or think as one wants.

"we do have some freedom of choice"

 

2. the state of not being imprisoned or enslaved.

"the shark thrashed its way to freedom"

 

I totally agree with number 1. We all need to speak up for ourselves and for each other. The Bible even says it in Proverbs 31:8 "Speak up for those who can't speak for themselves,
    for the rights of all who need an advocate."

But then there's a different kind of freedom number two speaks of. I chose this freedom. This freedom can and will only come when you truly and desperately want it. When you've had enough of what life throws at you. When you've had enough of what people or social media throws at you.

This freedom can only be birthed in your soul. Deep within yourself, because you desperately seek for it. You want it so bad to the point where you realize that Jesus is the only ONE that can give it. It's already there, but it has to be activated. God's answer to loss of freedom has always been Jesus Christ. Jesus even says it;

'The Spirit of the Lord is upon me,
    because he has anointed me
    to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to proclaim liberty to the captives
    and recovering of sight to the blind,
    to set at liberty those who are oppressed,
 to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor.'

 

We can be free from anything that enslaves us. The scary and absolute amazing things is, God gives us the freedom to choose our own path. We can do whatever we want. We can either stay captive (enslaved) or, we can be free which obviously still comes with challenges, but freedom is ours. We were created human beings and not robots and we don't have to accept the freedom He gives, however, with the state our lives and many things around us are in, it's best to choose the freedom He gives. It's a free will to accept or reject. Acceptance is better seeing that God gives it. We are so swamped with everyone's thoughts, opinions, our own self-hatred, and many others.

One things I know is, "'All things are lawful for me,'" but not all things are helpful. 'All things are lawful for me,' but I will not be dominated by anything" (1 Corinthians 6:12).

Do Not Engage

                                                                                                                                           

So many fingers are pointed at people who really tries to be better. Who really tries to do what Jesus did, but we are just giving them a chance? Damn, we ourselves are not given a chance. It’s tough inside you, and it’s so tough out there. We want love, but we ourselves do not want to show love. We want people to stay but, we don’t want to stay a minute longer when the going gets tough. We want forgiveness, we actually expect forgiveness even though it’s undeserved but we refuse to forgive the one who really needs it. Some people cannot move on if they haven’t been forgiven by a person. It literally cuts them into pieces on the inside.

We want grace but just don’t want to be gracious to others and just continue to cast the stones. We have been betrayed by many on many occasions, and what do we do, we decide to fight back wit that same fire. Yes, I’m writing this but you know what, I’m struggling too. I’m struggling with all of the above and I thank God for GRACE.

SOLUTION TO THE ABOVE:

If we want to be like Jesus, be the one that stays when everyone walks away.

Be the one who forgives, when it is undeserved.

Be the one to show grace when everyone else is casting stones.

Be the one to show love, even when they betray you, because that is what Jesus would do.

This solution is something to really work on. It will be very hard at first, because for many centuries this has been an ongoing struggle but believe me, it can be done.

Look at Paul the apostle. Persecutor of Christ followers, CHANGED FOREVER. Paul admits that the human nature is the one taking over and sin lives in it. (Romans 7:15-25 GNB)

The human nature also believes that the Law is right and forgets that Grace came. We are distracted by so many things. We want to take on too much and, we focus on everything others does. We cannot go one day without watching their statuses, their IG stories, their Facebook posts and we really get upset because what they put up their ruins our whole day and the story isn’t even about us personally. Some of the stories are though, experienced it myself many times, but what is the right thing for me to do? DO NOT view them then I won’t get upset. Our human nature is a massive problem. It rules us.

The human nature and the spiritual nature are like two dogs inside of us fighting. One must win. Who do you think wins? THE ONE WE FEED THE MOST! Many times, it’s the human nature. How can we stop this, DO NOT ENGAGE in the battle? You are absolutely right. Everything outside of our control weighs us down. Lay it aside. Shake it off. BE FREE. The child that angers you, the husband that angers you, that colleague that provokes you or who’s just angry at you for whatever reason you can’t think of, walk away.

My heart definitely feels lighter after this massive reminder. I hope you feel light?

 

 

Low but it will always be Me vs Me

It’s just the most horrible thing when people make you feel you are indebted to them. They did something for you when you had a great need, but you just can’t shake the feeling that you have to constantly be their slave. Let me tell you, they don’t remind you of it with their words, but that unspoken language(attitude) sure makes it very clear that somehow you have not settled your debt. Yeah we are human and we have those tendencies and I know when a person is trying their utmost to dispose of those ways, but my goodness, it’s for sure an ongoing thing.

 

I feel more that this post is not a lesson, but a complaint. A complaint to myself, just to get this out of my system, and putting it on paper sure feels like I’m releasing something.

You know the Bible tells me and continuously reminds me that I am no longer a slave especially to another human being. “Christ has liberated me into freedom. Therefore, I will not fall back into a yoke of slavery” Galatians 5:1, but yet I feel like a slave because I’m reminded of it.

It literally feels as if my heart is breaking inside my chest and I really want it to stop. One thing I know for sure is, that as long as I focus on their unspoken language, I will never experience the freedom that I'm meant to. 

I have to overcome yet again these emotions and move on. I'm reminding myself, we will always be human and we our selfish nature will always be there but, I hope and pray that when we experience someone else's pain because of our human nature, we will admit and learn that how we treat others is not what God wants. 

 

Quick Fix or process?

So, for a while I've been really great at maintaining my beautiful lengthy hair. Very proud, week after week I would blow dry my hair or just tie up my wet hair as is and off I go. Deep down in my heart I would wonder what it would feel like to wear my hair loose, in a frizz like I used too. 

And I decided to cut it off and so I did. It's short, curly, and doesn't look very nice right now. Hahahaaa!! but I'm confident it will soon. Anyway, this is not what I want to write about. I want to ask a question? Do know who you really are, or are you just going along for the ride and trying to get the perfect answer?

So I've been looking up what the meaning of "quick fix" is - an easy remedy or solution, especially a temporary one which fails to address underlying problems. A definition clear as day and to be honest, if I don't go the extreme route like cutting my hair, I would be blaming other people who couldn't blow my hair when I wanted them to or I would definitely feel I'd be loosing my identity if I cut my hair all off. People, the struggle is so real at times. 

The same with friendships when it ends and you don't get any answers from the person who ended it. The calls got less, the chatting got even lesser and it's confusing because you don't know what could've caused this amazing bond to just end. Why is it so hard to accept when this season is over? Mostly, you found something in this person that either made you stand out or you totally fabricated your identity in this relationship. 

Here's the deal...when our identity is tied to circumstances we become extremely insecure because circumstances are unpredictable and ever changing. 

Or we are sad because we never really had a present father in our lives. Based on my experiences with my dad not wanting me, I wondered what my heavenly Father’s attitude was toward me. After all, how could God just stand by and allow so much heartbreak into one little girl’s world?

It seemed every three years starting the year my dad left, there was some kind of awful tragedy that cast lingering, dark shadows into my life. Abuse. Divorce. Abandonment. Mental illness. The death of my sister. A devastating breakup. The cycle just kept going and going.

Even after I’d been a Christian for a long time and knew God loved me, I still had this nagging question about why the hard stuff had to be so painful. Was God really being good to me in this? I think C. S. Lewis said it best: “We are not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be.

And it’s at this point where God just takes me to Romans 8:28: “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” 

I like that verse. And I think it helps shed some light on the reality that even if something doesn’t feel good, God can still work good from it. But verses 5 and 6 from this same chapter give me another layer of assurance:

Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace.

Because we continue to attached ourselves to a thing or person, we allow uninvited scenarios into our thoughts and lives. 

Because of circumstances, we choose the quick fix route instead of going through the process of becoming. For this reason, I cut my hair off knowing during this process of regrowth, I honest with myself that my hair looks like crap right now but, in 2 to 3 months time it will look amazing again all in it's natural form.

So, the process it is for me. 

Help for the wounded heart - when forgiveness hurts

Life knocks us around physically, emotionally and spiritually. I have a list of heart wounds and so do you because we both wear human skin. I looked at that list of wounds and realized there are just as many spiritual wounds. Do you spend time counting the way that people have hurt you? I have and it is ugly. How about you? Abuse, betrayal, jealousy, anger, gossip, envy, strife, you name it...all of our ugly comes out when withhold forgiveness.  Self absorption has a way of making us miserable and the power of our unforgiveness becomes frightfully obvious to others and yet oblivious to ourselves.  We walk around with wide open wounds and say we are just fine when really, we aren't.  What can we do when a band-aid isn't big enough to heal a wound?

You have carried the burdens long enough dear friend.  He already knows your heartache and has the healing balm ready for you.  He sees the whole thing from the beginning and He sees how it ends.

" Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time, casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you." 1 Peter 5:6-7 

There is a big difference between going to God and letting pain fester with a smile on your face. Have you told God in real physical words exactly why you are having a hard time forgiving that person?  Hand over your list of wounds and let God deal with it. How? Take some serious time to be quiet (or scream and cry!) before God and lay it all out with spoken or written words.  Every ugly thought. Every ugly detail and every nasty moment. Leave nothing unturned and no words or deeds left unmentioned. Spill because you can’t tackle this thing on your own. 

It has been said that unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. True. My guess is that you're loosing a whole lot more sleep about it than they are. Chances are the person that has hurt you has moved on and you are stuck right where it happened. When you take your hurts before a Holy God-you don't have to bear them alone.  He is your Emmanuel, God With Us, and He is the only one that can help you move forward in victory.

In His Love

She peaks

Heartbroken?

Friend,

I don’t know what your heartbreak is about, but I know it hurts.

My gosh, does it hurt.

It feels like you can’t breathe, or think. It’s consuming. It makes you wonder how anything will ever be ok.

And so you find yourself on the floor, feeling like getting up isn’t going to happen anytime soon.

If I was there, I’d lay down next to you. I’d tell you that this pain is so real, and it’s going to hurt for awhile.

But it’s you, and you have the Spirit of the healer living right inside of you, and so I know that this isn’t how it ends for you. I'd tell you it's okay to be devastated. This feeling won't go away immediately but when it does, you will be so strong and fierce. I know, because I've been on the floor many times before.

I felt like it would never be okay.

It wasn't pretty. It wasnt easy. It wasn't quick. I'm here and I am better.

There are different reasons for our heartbreak and we all heal differently and that's great. As long as we heal.

Friend, your story doesn't end on the floor. It ends when you allow yourself to get up and decide.

I will remind myself - ALWAYS

Look at your hands: They have carried your cute babies at one stage and dried so many of your tears.

Look at your feet: They have walked you to some of your favorite places and walked you away from so many bad ones.

Look at your belly: Think of the days when it's been full and warm with your favorite foods.

Look at your legs: They have held you up when you thought you were not strong enough to stand.

Look at your eyes: They have seen so may beautiful people.

Look at your mouth: It has told so many people that you love them.

Look at your body: It's been there since day 1

LOVE IT, IT LOVES YOU! 
Hating your body doesn't change it. Loving it does wonders.

I needed this - I had to decide

Year in and year out it's the same old story. The same pathetic words that left my mouth,

"I can't"

"What will they say"

"What will they think of me"

"That's not me"

"Why don't you do it"

"I'm too fat, I will never fit into that pants or that top is too out there. The color is too bright"

 

…and the list goes on and on. Well, that was me for a very long time. CAN YOU RELATE TO THIS?

You just have your whole familiar life planned out. They way you are now is just the way you'll stay. The complaints will always be there. The dissatisfaction towards yourself will continue, and people will just start staying away from because you can't or you won't see your worth. You know what I was doing? I was teaching them to disrespect me because I couldn't even respect myself.

You know we will forever question people's motives towards us. We will forever be unhappy with ourselves and how things are in our lives. We will forever blame others for happenings in our lives – and as long as we question, blame and cry, things will never change if we don't come to a decision to change our questions.

"Could things be the way that they are because I am the way that I am. What one thing can I change in order to see change in my life?"

I read the book called "Alice in Wonderland" by Lewis Caroll not too long ago. I literally had a life changing moment which turned out to change my life. I read a very interesting part.

"Alice: Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?
The Cheshire Cat: That depends a good deal on where you want to get to.
Alice: I don't much care where.
The Cheshire Cat: Then it doesn't much matter which way you go.
Alice: ...So long as I get somewhere.
The Cheshire Cat: Oh, you're sure to do that, if only you walk long enough."

How true is this. We question "why" but when someone else asks where you want to go and what do you want to do, we still have no clue. With that said, if you don't have a plan on where you're going, you will still ask the same questions for a very long time and still stay stuck and go nowhere.

 

I can honestly say:

"I am no longer stuck"

"No longer disrespect me"

"I love myself"

"I look after my body"

"I no longer look at other and then judge me by the way they look"

"I look at me and say, this is your next step"

 

I no longer have self-esteem issues because now I know, "self-esteem means confidence and satisfaction in one-self."

I can now love others with boldness because I love me. 

Thanks